Therefore it seems we desire to fuck on the same day.
This has happened before, to Floyd Fan and me...the cold dark snowy day of Stockings In The Snow:

Therefore, I still wait, with perhaps a search for the occasional intelligent comfort fuck to appease me...maybe.

As soon as the door opened, my heart shouted at me again, 'It's not going to work and you know it!' Then I felt  it fall down to the very top of my high heels. Should have walked away then but I didn't. I was daring myself; urging myself to do it to step across the boundaries. I'd made an arrangement; wanted it and I should not be jumping to conclusions.

Absence: I'm dealing with an absence of excitement. It's rather strange. I think back to the tumultuous build up and the fizzy popping of desire in the second week of last month...(is that all, it seems an age, an absolute age ago), ...and I am still deeply somewhere else, with someone else, yet I will not back out of tomorrow. It will all be over by this time tomorrow night; I'll either be sitting here writing to appease King Kev who is bursting with excitement to read about my naughtiness, or I'll still be making it home on the motorway...heart racing with the madness of the adrenalin rush.
Don't misunderstand. I do want sex. I do want, I do need, to feel that possessive penetration and to share the pent up need and the release of constrained desire...
But I've been swamped by work and I've barely had time to even squirm when imagining a very rude snapshot of this illicit coupling or just digested a vividly naughty textual message.
We've had a candid chat.
He's definitely more excited than I am and I feel a meandering of searching and starting all afresh with a new and thorough searching of those who asked to be saved in my Inbox very soon.
Yet, I am being unfair. We've both enjoyed the sexy words; he's shown a more gentle side too, yet how is it I know this is not going to rock my world? I don't need him too, let's face it.
I need the raunchy playtime he has promised and that is something I do look forward to.
The heat
The wet
The closeness
The hardness
The filling of a space with sex noise.
I am desperately hoping I don't want to go home after my first orgasm; always a bad sign!

Catch me whilst you can.
I've fallen through the net.

Rather a while ago...like...a year ish...maybe a little more...before the realms of G-inc I think, I met someone...let's call him Mersey...slight accent...who was, well he still is, a lovely bloke. We've not seen each other for a long while, not since early last summer but he's been in touch at times to catch up, to see how I am and to tell me about his new baby...
I'm probably guilty of messing him around a bit actually, as I arranged to meet a couple of times but backed out...
However, he's good to chat with and we have a few career things in common as well as the non-sex..or rare-sex issue with our respective spouses which we've also discussed at length.
That's it.
But...he texted today...first time I've heard from him in ages and I know he's going for a new job and wondered if he'd been successful, but... his wife has found a phone with some of our saucy messages on it from last year!
Then he rings...leaves a voicemail: he's been seeing someone else, BUT his wife now believes the other woman's number is also MINE!!! (This is Mersey's damage limitation I reckon. Best have one woman with two numbers, than two women with a number each, so cheers for that!)
Warning me of any possible death threats etc, he's clearly completely in the poo...
I told him to talk to her ages ago. She actually appears to want less sex than my husband and we once joked they should get together! It's a shame,he was such an eager bed buddy and was literally only warming up after his second orgasm...he's a walking sex machine.
But there was not enough of the 'connection' for me to want him as much in return, hence our platonic relationship which is cool as I rarely manage that or desire that after fucking in the woods...

So be warned: delete your sexy texts!!! Yes, even you...

P.S: Right in the middle of a rare, special text from Floyd Fan....I got a call...did I answer? No. Didn't recognise the number, however I researched the area code...oops.
Note to self: must strengthen lock on rabbit hutch tonight after deleting Army Boss sexy texts.

Tonight he was planning an ambush...'in a wood..'

Double entendres fill my head, yet I know he won't be thinking as fast as I am. Poor thing...Physically, I already sense I'm going to be exhausted and completely ravaged..(which is a good thing, don't get me wrong)...
Mental stimulation, I'll put that on hold...My mind will not be filled with wondrous thoughts present, but wondrous thoughts past...
Floyd fan fills my psyche still and I know, he knows it's game on again...soon...months...soon, but he will enrapture me again across white sheets in the morning streaming sun...

Meanwhile, back to the crude present; dirty texts and fantasy spill out from Army Boss...and I know I want it..but not really with him...beggars can't be choosers and Ive already told all of you, I'm a choosey girl.

This Thursday beckons...and he is agitated and excited in his khaki...
Made the effort this afternoon though...got myself quite turned on...the messages so steamy they were melting the mobile...
And I'm conscious of the mindset;
I'm conscious of the sex need;
I'm conscious of the isolation of mind and heart and this time it's easy.

It's easy because he does not feed my soul;
It's easy because passion is not flowing from words;
It's easy beacuse it's a six hour arrangement...not a six month one..;
It's easy because he does not even know my name.

And it's so hard.
Because it's not him...not yet.

I've still not paid a penny, yet I'm still desperate for an Inbox Coordinator...and I've 'hidden' my ad. (as the service offers...) or, 'Turned myself off' as it also calls it. However, still the messages flood in...and I've lost interest completely! 
Army Boss is in touch and that's fine, but he tells me my ad is still there. Now, this gets me wondering, as the site I posted on appears to be at least another six sites...all with different names...

Oh well...life's what you make it.

Tonight I have had to 'hide' my 'advert'....for my own sanity.
There was a photo, yes...but...not rude. Sexy, discreet...unable to identify...but...a photo...
Tonight...216 messages in my Inbox.
Tonight...desperate for some order, peace, sense...
Therefore, I hid it.

Must pop to the salon...pussy on parade!

Isn't that many a girl's dream?
Mine is jam packed.
It's been a bit difficult to manage and perhaps I need an Inbox Coordinator.

The categories are as follows:

Junk...can't even spell.
Trash..cock pics...how I hate those without even ever sucking them!
Mediocre (unintelligent), bland...
Average (out for what comes along)still can't spell.
Catches the Eye ( I like the eloquence of their words) intelligent; they can spell.

The search begins...but then there is the constant bombardment of ....
xxxx wants to chat,,

Well, sorry dear but I don't want to...need to clear my inbox so bugger off while I try to do so!

And...I've not paid. I've actually made a conscious decision that I will not pay a penny...and wait to see how far I get.

So...can't send replies on one site...talk about money grabbing!!!

On another I can...
And update and exchange info etc....

Oooh I could write a paper on this for my Masters!!!

Couple of numbers.
Couple of addresses.
Yes, only a couple out of well over sixty tonight...be discerning; prioritise.

I wait.
Not going to be holding my breath. Been here before. Yet, I met Darcy on a site like this...and G and a few others....sift out the trash and you find something to recycle.

I'll close my eyes.
I'll pretend it's Floyd Fan...

Pretend.
Pretend.

We know Major Tom's a junkie...

Still suffering with this awful cold...well you blokes would call it 'flu.

Last night, I stayed up late...again...should not have done and I began to teeter...slowly, but definitely, towards joining 'that site' again...

Because basically, I need some sexy action and I'm not getting any!

I even looked at a naughtier one than 'that site'...!!! Now there would be no shortage of attention...but it's previously untrodden ground for me... so...I'm still teetering.

Even on the cold light of day, doesn't seem such a weird idea....

Rambling now, and I feel a sneeze coming on...

Thought blue was appropriate.
Crashed out earlier. Ironically I was woken up by heavy rain....
Hub had got kids sorted for bed...I was oblivious...dosed up with Vick probably!
Wandered downstairs...sleepy with pj's on to be greeted by 'Flood.'