It was a double last night...well..before I had to make tea..in fact probably earlier than that.
A double, a multiple quivering wet, hot, seeping, convulsing hard orgasmic response.
I remember what I said..and yes it's less than a week since I said that and yes I need a fuck.
You have absolutely no idea how much I crave.
I am such a sexy girl and my eye, my urge, my craving is searching. I will need the satisfaction soon...

The feeling of warmth around me; the feeling of hardness thrusting inside me...Now that is so much more than a lonely orgasm or two.

And yes...it was the return of phone sex entrepreneur...should I say the return of l'homme de mansion...he texted...days ago and I ignored. Holding out. But the temptation too much. Too great. The noise. His voice and talk and complete understanding of my predicament...
I succombed; noisily; frantically; loudly; bloody sexily actually...he's rearranged meetings and we're not talking pennies.I had no idea...and it really does not change things as to think differently would contaminate.
I feel humbled, yet elated.
He owns and rents out ___,000 sq ft of business in a local city of his...as a little aside...I still do not know the nth degree...have asked not to...There's so much more...and his drive is admirable...he really needs not to...

And he asks...about my return.
He remembers every message every word...his memory is phenomenal...again..he felt no need to say...he never brags...he's just very very 'normal'...and his wife would be at the solicitor's now apparently if she ever suspected anything...straight away...

I find that strange too...you'd fight for someone wouldn't you...just a little bit?

He admires the appearance of confidence.
He even delayed some meeting so he could charge his phone ...so I could receive his messages.
My quips are rapid, equal, above...he loves my laugh ...he can barely contain himself when I come...
sitting in the latest sports or the E type...

But he is not the one.
But...he's not the answer.
I am not wishing to share his bed...it is another I crave ...

It's a tonic that helps.
So fucked up with the return on Friday.
So fucked up with the barbarous act on a 14 year old.
So fucked up with life being good and yet no lying beneath or on top of my husband. No feeling of union. No feeling of being owned and possessed and driven to the sexual married edge... No feeling of being freed up sexually...
So fucked up with not being fucked.