@ 2008-04-09 – 23:18:01
Not going to write much.
We spoke online today...ironically the first time since the day it snowed; how different and yet how similar things now are.
We're so close to the moment, we are almost touching.
Soon I will see him for the first time.
He will then touch me and I him, for the first time.
Nothing more now....
Let's just wait and see....
Soon...
17 hours soon.
Now, time for rest.
Night night.
@ 2008-04-09 – 13:34:10
Military operation, that's what it is!
Yesterday the nails and the essential waxing was achieved. I was beginning to panic I may have to DIY it and that just would not have been good!
30 minutes : waxing
90 minutes : nails
Add that to, 90 minutes: hair; 180 minutes shopping for something that will be off longer than they'll be on...
Believe me, the fabrication of the story; the arrangement of the alibi takes mere seconds compared to all of that.
Then there's the childcare to ensure and being precise so everything runs smoothly. Yes, I've done this before, but it's not a weekly event. It is something which always needs care and precision planning. Nothing can be left to chance: nothing.
The theatre, further north, beckons; dinner and a night with a close friend.
The art of being an adulteress, a successful adulteress, is to be precise with planning; is to be a woman with a deep longing for mutually passionate/hard/soft/rough/slow/sexy/fun/loud/quiet/bound/gagged....or whatever is mutual at that moment... sex with a man who is not her husband and for her not to have a guilty notion...physically and emotionally. It is not with her husband, and has not been that way with her husband for such a long time. Indeed, any type of close passion with him would be welcomed...he had none for such a long time and she almost withered away until she discovered this role.
Back to now.
Departing in 24 hours, the train will bring a time for contemplation and reflection and welcome peace and respite from the worlds that hound my head. The world of work; the world of motherhood and the world of marriage.
Guilt will never seep in as I know my body has to be shared and enjoyed and held to help me feel as alive as I do now.
Never have I returned to my marital bed filled with regret.
My case is lying open on the bedroom floor...filling it with just enough for the night.
It's too small to hold all that I want to give; that is all within.
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