As soon as the door opened, my heart shouted at me again, 'It's not going to work and you know it!' Then I felt it fall down to the very top of my high heels. Should have walked away then but I didn't. I was daring myself; urging myself to do it to step across the boundaries. I'd made an arrangement; wanted it and I should not be jumping to conclusions.
Smiling, as was he, I stepped inside and the fun ensued...but I could smell the cigarette breath and the booze...first day out of the woods for god knows how long...I should have realised.
He was too short for a start. Sorry if I'm upsetting anyone...but I need to feel ensconced and wrapped with warm tall passion. I need to feel desired not lusted over..there is a fine line; a subtlety that only a few ever achieve.
His tongue helped me change my mind momentarily;
and his fingers deep inside me...
and hard outside of me...
Leaning back.
Arching upwards.
Shouting, filling the empty sin-filled space, my soul fluttered invisibly around, wondering where to settle her weary aching wings.
Eventually, she rested, she waited as the numbness of her keeper set in waiting for him to enjoy what he was expecting.
Which he did.
Which she closed her eyes to.
Which he mistook.
Which she misled.
Which he mistook - again.
The recent tan from Afghanistan did not appease her soul.
Did not appease her.
Did not.
No appeasement for me either.
Hasty excuses.
Got to go.
My soul chasing me, begging me to slow down in the car park. She caught up with me, eventually and settled, almost comfortably, recognising the journey home.
Spikey hot shower burns my skin as I try to feel clean from within.
Soap and bubbles smother and steam.
Warm and glowing I shiver with cold, slipping the old pyjamas on and snuggling onto the settee;
slipping inside the world of my latest novel.
My soul, she's fighting back the tears now, still anxiously fluttering above my head.
