I'm back there tomorrow.
It beckons in an overbearing, obscene manner...and I'm ready. Nervous, panicky but ready and she will not entrap me.

Missing everything except her...yet still I continue and still so will she. Yet the ultimate difference, the raison d'etre if you like, is that I will never stoop to her level.
I will smile, be graceful, be thoughtful, be alert and calm; I shall seek wisdom, prepare well and listen closely to the shimmering background mutterings,observe the dalliances and gently dip my toes in the treacherous waters.

I will not fall in.
I will not drown.
I will be strong and safe.

He's right beside me; invisibly bold.