..if I still love him,
if I want to be the unfaithful wife and why.
If he wants me still...across the pennines.
If I satisfy the intensity of my lover and his desires.
If I will stay sane.
If I will always exude a sexy glow.
If my skin will always be beautiful.
If I will be a respectable mother at the school gates.
If I will survive and be strong.
If I will shout and fill a room with love-induced, soul-filled orgasms, that are shared and not alone.
If I will ever feel love so strongly again.
If he despises me.
If I am a disappointment to the one who listens to birds and song and is silent and I am selfish.
If I can just make it through.
If I can just be there.
If I can sort my head out.
If I can stop the tears and the self-pity.
If I can feel loved and possessed and filled deeply, sexually, passionately; if my soul can drown.