So busy.
Conducted performance review of The Young One today She is fabulous.
Cycleman has now asked her...after it was established during the 'Stalking issue' that she would not...but has now re-asked her to go to N _ _. She has professionally declined and reminded him of before...Utterly so lacking the full impact of everything earlier. He just can't see and how on earth he expects leadership to agree...well...I'll say no more. Colt appears to be being 'groomed'. Need to watch that. She's easily led.
Bitch is being civil and the strain she is exhibiting is frightening.
Words from The Director and his words are certainly simmering. The next audition may be rather wild I suspect.
I am desperate for some hearty romping with sexily fuelled ideas, desires, language and raw audacity.
Life at home is calm as though nothing untoward ever happened.
Mansion man still flutters the odd message and I'm not moved.
Something approaching distanced jealousy reared as I read words yesterday. I know it's a superfluous feeling yet a gentle stabbing of the heart ensued.
Little Sportacus has his first taster of school on Friday and I worry as this week he has shown many emotional signs of separation anxiety which he has never exhibited before. Spoke to the appropriate people tonight...
My heart breaks when he clings to me and won't let go.
'Please don't go mummy, please don't go mummy, please don't go mummy,' sobbing and struggling to say the words, yet they pierce my love and they hurt as I bleed guilt.
Unpeeling him from my suited body, unpeeling him from my heart, I am thrown back to the moment he yelled when they pulled him out of me and held him up over the screen.
The umbilical cord is always there.
That never breaks, although my heart does.
