Prettyintelligentprincess

Remember how I used to write this way? I thought I'd revisit...just for nostalgia's sake...

Today... I awoke and remembered the nightmare last night...ghosts and macabre things inside a room and I was trapped and crying...

Today...I hugged Sportacus so many times. He looked so gorgeous. A real handsome chap!

Today...I heard from G who sounds fragile and alone and it scares me.

Today...France and I talked and our first meeting was tentatively arranged.

Today...I texted FF and he was withdrawn and contemplative and sensitively sombre...I miss him and still desire him so much.

Today...I searched au pair agencies as that is what must happen, not just a name from the internet!

Today...I contemplated the funeral and discovered her body was being sent to the coroner a long way away...she was too young to die they said.

Today...I felt the slow strangulation in my throat again.

Today...a lovely voice from the past...unbelievable I know, but Mansion Man is so persistent (SJ remember what you said about wealthy, powerful men always expecting to get what they wanted?)...he made me smile and reflect and converse as he talked about his children, his business interests and his swimming pool! His son is a truly gifted writer and that makes him so proud!

Today...Mansion Man actually told me why he did everything but have full sex with me...no condoms!!! For goodness sake...this is why communication is so important...I had them in my hand bag all along both times.....I have to say I was in no fit condition to discuss them by the time he was pushing me on to my fifth orgasm of the afternoon!

Today...I have worried about work as usual...but not about Bitch...about next week's data.

Today...I have not, I repeat NOT, masterbated! Blimey...as Mansion Man asked, 'Are you ill?'

She died less than five minutes after everything was switched off, reduced, withdrawn. You actually get an information pack when your next of kin dies so you know what happens next etc.
I think the coroner has her body now until it is released. Then the funeral will be organised after that. This is the time when you realise how far and wide this family has become.
Witnessing the macabre deterioration is now over for him and I am glad.
Heroin addict boyfriend said she didn't know when to stop...even for him. Apparently the appropriate term for him is 'user' not addict. He could not stop her for anything he said. She enjoyed what she did. And now she's dead.Believe it or not, he holds down a fairly professional job.
Needless to say, he's organising the funeral side of things as far as I am aware, but the rest of the family will no doubt help. A calm has descended in a 'back to business' type of way.

Hub and I have decided we need an au pair as oppossed to forking out so much money for before and after school care at a local private nursery. It's not just that though, little Sportacus needs a home environment and one to one, especially with his new start at school in September. They both do...instead of being so bored at the after school club, where I know for a fact Sportacus will get bored and then get into trouble. Budding Vet complains it's boring now.
As well as this we both work long hours and my stress levels go through the roof with leaving work, worrying how late I am to collect them, then dashing home and cooking etc. It's exhausting. I am completely trapped should I wish to apply for a post in a different area as childcare is not available before 8am.
Someone who lives in and helps us with the children and around the house a bit too would be such a weight off my shoulders.
Therefore, I have registered on a couple of sites on the internet, but it's a daunting business!
It's like looking for a needle in a haystack! And you have to pay before you can access the details of the au pairs who are interested in your family! Some au pairs have used their initiative and have included coded email addresses in their information which is useful. Unfortunately, I need one with a driving licence too which is proving more difficult. But it's early days and since registering last night 4 people have already expressed an interest.
If anyone reading this has any useful tips, please let me know! Thanks.