I feel repulsed by old men who lock their daughters away for years and rape them.

I feel deeply saddened about the death of a young man in a far off place....whom I helped to nurture before he joined up: how many more will die? He is now the third and it's really making me angry. His young body was buried last week. What a waste. When is someone actually going to DO something about this perpetual death and destruction?

I feel annoyed with Boy in Blue as he is too silent and I always have to make the first move: I don't want to...I want someone who will make the first move with me for fuck's sake. He has OCD and depression issues ...which let's face it should not affect things at all...he is the same person after all...yet...I need a lover who bloody WANTS and DESIRES me.

I feel frustrated with the Jones thing. I know...even without meeting him, he is going to placate, fulfill, exhilarate and soothe...yet I feel so confined and entrapped. I want him. With me. Alone and in a peaceful place where we can create our own noise. The prison of marriage and cage of motherhood is making me wait...and wait and wait...and I refuse to despair. Geographically, he is so far away; spiritually, a breath away.

I feel tenderness and satisfaction with a memory, almost a year old and well documented here. Troiseme etage is something I treasure...always.

I feel a twitching desire to let unknown sex searchers invade my confinement. Mr Finance. Mr Car and Mr Engineer all want to be embedded deeply inside me...sometime soon...yet, no one..no one has bowled me over. I may just pretend to fall.

I feel jealous...that Darcy is seeking and finding happiness within his Bohemian suburb of the old slave port...his communication a little glib and so bloody happy...it makes me scream.

I feel a little fear...as I still wait for some results. Not told you about this. Just a tiny tiny blemish..It was solved last time and I kept that secret...but it's resurfaced and I wait. So small, not even Boy in Blue noticed...

I adore all my female curves and I pray my bra remains full.